I went jean shopping today. A task I had been putting off for quite awhile. I was dreading having to buy new jeans, and I have to say...my fears were not so irrational! First it took me about 2 hours just to find a pair that fit; not too many stores cater to the "curvy woman," even those that claim they do. The jeans just never fit me right; they always leave a HUGE gap in between my back and the waistband, and I ALWAYS have to buy the waist too big or super stretch material in order to get the jeans to fit my thighs. I do have quite the rear, always have, and I've always embraced it. I love my rear, it's the big thighs and the wide hips, that come along with it, that I could live without.
I hadn't realized how much my lower half (rear, hips, and thighs) had grown until today-or I just didn't want to admit it, hence the procrastination. Needless to say, the revelation had me calling my husband from the dressing room, practically in tears. I was so upset with my post-pregnancy body.
My husband, of course, loves my curves, their one of things that initially attracted him to me. I wish I could find consolation in that fact. It's hard to feel sexy when you've gained weight, even when your significant other still thinks you are. So I caved and bought two pairs of "big" jeans, I had to. I spend my days in sweatpants, partially because I'm home all day and see no point in walking around in jeans my son is just going to throw up on and partially because my old jeans were just a little too tight when buttoned. However, I only allowed myself to buy two pairs because I am determined to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, therefore rendering my new jeans unnecessary sometime in the very near future. Hopefully, in 2011, it's out with the new and in with the old!
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Off Schedule
As I mentioned in my previous post, the past few days has been a bit hectic for my son. We had a sleepover at his nan's, went into the city, saw a few doctors, and went two whole days with only one nap!
Like many mothers, I find my life dictated by routine-my son's routine. For the first three months of my son's life, I followed his cues; I rarely put him down for a nap, most times he passed out on me, and I'd leave him there. It was just easier that way, and I couldn't stand the thought of letting him cry it out at such a young age.
I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be able to tolerate the blood curdling screams of a regimented sleep schedule. However, after three months of sleepless nights and days I had had enough. I followed my son's cues, but instead of letting him pass out on me, I would put him down in his crib. For over a month my son would scream and cry every time he was placed in the crib. I was afraid it would NEVER end, but it did. Now CJ goes down with barely a peep; where his scream session would only yield a 30 minute nap, he now naps for at least a hour and a half! VICTORY!
Nighttime was a whole different story. I refused to put him in his crib awake, I just couldn't tolerate the crying it out at nighttime. Once again, exhaustion overruled my pity and I began to put him down awake. Nighttime sleep was achieved much easier than napping. For the first few days he would cry for about the first 20 minutes before he would pass out. He would then wake up every two hours until 1 am, and I would just let him fuss after ensuring that his diaper was clean. Now he knows he's not getting me out of bed before 3:30 am so the middle of the night wake up calls have essentially ceased, and if they occur he jibber jabbers himself back to sleep.
But I digress. Today, I felt as though I was back at the beginning, when ranting and raving ruled the daylight hours. I know a lot of mothers who run a strict regiment, nap time occurs on the same schedule no matter where they are or what's going on. I just can't live like that, it's not fitting to our lifestyle. The schedule works wonders when I'm home or if we're just visiting for the day. However, I am not going to rearrange important doctor appointments just to keep my son on schedule. Sometimes, it's just not feasible. So I went the two days without implementing his normal schedule (and when it was enforced during those two days, he put up more of a fight than usual because he was not used to sleeping in a playpen, the room, or sharing a room with me). Needless to say, today was rough.
My son inherited my stubbornness, and if he does not want to do something he can put up quite the fight. What he is too young to know, or understand, is that I can fight too, and if I put my mind to something it will be achieved. So today I set out to reinstate nap time, which was no easy task. He cried and he cried and he cried. Then he slept....unfortunately not as long as he cried. I had errands to run, but today I ran them on his schedule we had nothing else to do today. By the time we got home, CJ was at his wits end. I attempted nap time again. He put up a fight again, but this time he knew I wasn't playing around and his cries soon died down to whines and his whines finally became snores (not literally, but you know what I mean)! Mission accomplished!
I am so happy, lucky, and relieved to have a baby that both naps and sleeps through the night, but I am even more relieved to know that I can remove the daily routine for a short period of time and my son will bounce right back. He may resist in the beginning, but a little resolve on my end and results will be produced.
Like many mothers, I find my life dictated by routine-my son's routine. For the first three months of my son's life, I followed his cues; I rarely put him down for a nap, most times he passed out on me, and I'd leave him there. It was just easier that way, and I couldn't stand the thought of letting him cry it out at such a young age.
I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be able to tolerate the blood curdling screams of a regimented sleep schedule. However, after three months of sleepless nights and days I had had enough. I followed my son's cues, but instead of letting him pass out on me, I would put him down in his crib. For over a month my son would scream and cry every time he was placed in the crib. I was afraid it would NEVER end, but it did. Now CJ goes down with barely a peep; where his scream session would only yield a 30 minute nap, he now naps for at least a hour and a half! VICTORY!
Nighttime was a whole different story. I refused to put him in his crib awake, I just couldn't tolerate the crying it out at nighttime. Once again, exhaustion overruled my pity and I began to put him down awake. Nighttime sleep was achieved much easier than napping. For the first few days he would cry for about the first 20 minutes before he would pass out. He would then wake up every two hours until 1 am, and I would just let him fuss after ensuring that his diaper was clean. Now he knows he's not getting me out of bed before 3:30 am so the middle of the night wake up calls have essentially ceased, and if they occur he jibber jabbers himself back to sleep.
But I digress. Today, I felt as though I was back at the beginning, when ranting and raving ruled the daylight hours. I know a lot of mothers who run a strict regiment, nap time occurs on the same schedule no matter where they are or what's going on. I just can't live like that, it's not fitting to our lifestyle. The schedule works wonders when I'm home or if we're just visiting for the day. However, I am not going to rearrange important doctor appointments just to keep my son on schedule. Sometimes, it's just not feasible. So I went the two days without implementing his normal schedule (and when it was enforced during those two days, he put up more of a fight than usual because he was not used to sleeping in a playpen, the room, or sharing a room with me). Needless to say, today was rough.
My son inherited my stubbornness, and if he does not want to do something he can put up quite the fight. What he is too young to know, or understand, is that I can fight too, and if I put my mind to something it will be achieved. So today I set out to reinstate nap time, which was no easy task. He cried and he cried and he cried. Then he slept....unfortunately not as long as he cried. I had errands to run, but today I ran them on his schedule we had nothing else to do today. By the time we got home, CJ was at his wits end. I attempted nap time again. He put up a fight again, but this time he knew I wasn't playing around and his cries soon died down to whines and his whines finally became snores (not literally, but you know what I mean)! Mission accomplished!
I am so happy, lucky, and relieved to have a baby that both naps and sleeps through the night, but I am even more relieved to know that I can remove the daily routine for a short period of time and my son will bounce right back. He may resist in the beginning, but a little resolve on my end and results will be produced.
CJ napping with his favorite crib pal, Pooh Bear.
Monday, November 15, 2010
...Baby's Day Out...
For years I have been struggling with a tumor that away my jaw bone over the course of 10 or more years. Right before I got pregnant I had surgery to reconstruct my jaw, and hopefully generate bone (something that had not occurred in 3 years). Today, I had a post-op appointment to determine whether or not I had healed, generated bones, and if I was eligible for dental implants. Today's appointment was different, I had to bring my son with me.
Having to bring my son along with me, to such an already nerve wracking appointment, caused me some anxiety. I, therefore, decided that, as I live upstate, I would stay at my mother's with my son to make my commute to the doctor appointment easier (she lives about 20 minutes away opposed to my hour and a half); plus, my mother was coming with me for the appointment to help with my son. We have a very rigid routine that we follow at home, and I implemented it at my mother's. The familiar routine soothed my son, and we had a normal, non-eventful evening. I was so proud! I never imagined that he would sleep so well in an unfamiliar setting!
My mother and I decided that we would take public transportation to the appointment. The doctor is in the city, and my son screams any time we're stuck in traffic, public transportation would just make life easier. So today we woke up bright and early, my son wakes up anywhere between 4 and 4:30 ever since daylight savings time, and got ready for our big adventure. My mother and I packed our bags, got the toys and food together, got all bundled up, and headed out for the bus. The bus pulls up, and we get on....you should have seen the faces of the passengers when they saw that we had a baby with us. They were all scared that a restless baby would disturb their normally peaceful commute. In theory, they were right to be concerned; however, my son was nothing but smiles and curiosity. I expected him to have a meltdown, it was his nap time after all, but I was happily proven wrong. My son was so intrigued and excited by the new experience that he was nothing except calm.
After the bus, we transferred to the subway. Passengers on the subway NEVER expect a peaceful journey so we received no wary looks as we boarded. Again, I anticipated a meltdown, but I guess I should have learned from the bus trip. Again my son spent the entire journey inspecting/analyzing everything he saw. Then again on the 5 block walk to the hospital, my son was breaking his back to gaze up at all the sky scrapers.
The whole day, which lasted from about 8am-2pm, I was on pins and needles waiting for the breakdown, the tears, the tantrum that never came. Nap time was skipped, and it was only when we got on the bus to go home that exhaustion finally overcame excitement and he passed out. I was so impressed by my son's behavior. I had packed a whole bag of tricks to keep him calm and cool, and none of it was needed; not the snacks, the toys, the music, etc. I guess excitement trumps exhaustion. Now I can only hope future adventures will go as smoothly. I guess that's all we can do as mothers, hope.
Having to bring my son along with me, to such an already nerve wracking appointment, caused me some anxiety. I, therefore, decided that, as I live upstate, I would stay at my mother's with my son to make my commute to the doctor appointment easier (she lives about 20 minutes away opposed to my hour and a half); plus, my mother was coming with me for the appointment to help with my son. We have a very rigid routine that we follow at home, and I implemented it at my mother's. The familiar routine soothed my son, and we had a normal, non-eventful evening. I was so proud! I never imagined that he would sleep so well in an unfamiliar setting!
My mother and I decided that we would take public transportation to the appointment. The doctor is in the city, and my son screams any time we're stuck in traffic, public transportation would just make life easier. So today we woke up bright and early, my son wakes up anywhere between 4 and 4:30 ever since daylight savings time, and got ready for our big adventure. My mother and I packed our bags, got the toys and food together, got all bundled up, and headed out for the bus. The bus pulls up, and we get on....you should have seen the faces of the passengers when they saw that we had a baby with us. They were all scared that a restless baby would disturb their normally peaceful commute. In theory, they were right to be concerned; however, my son was nothing but smiles and curiosity. I expected him to have a meltdown, it was his nap time after all, but I was happily proven wrong. My son was so intrigued and excited by the new experience that he was nothing except calm.
After the bus, we transferred to the subway. Passengers on the subway NEVER expect a peaceful journey so we received no wary looks as we boarded. Again, I anticipated a meltdown, but I guess I should have learned from the bus trip. Again my son spent the entire journey inspecting/analyzing everything he saw. Then again on the 5 block walk to the hospital, my son was breaking his back to gaze up at all the sky scrapers.
The whole day, which lasted from about 8am-2pm, I was on pins and needles waiting for the breakdown, the tears, the tantrum that never came. Nap time was skipped, and it was only when we got on the bus to go home that exhaustion finally overcame excitement and he passed out. I was so impressed by my son's behavior. I had packed a whole bag of tricks to keep him calm and cool, and none of it was needed; not the snacks, the toys, the music, etc. I guess excitement trumps exhaustion. Now I can only hope future adventures will go as smoothly. I guess that's all we can do as mothers, hope.
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